So Much For The Much Anticipated Good News

Just left the Urologists office. Very nice guy, but the bearer of some not so good news. It turns out the kidney tumour is massive and has been there for quite some time. Much longer than a year. Who knows how long really. Furthermore, the little “encapsulated tumour” by my sacrum is actually not so encapsulated after all. It’s attached to one of my vertebra and is pressing on the nerves that are causing me so much pain. (Imagine someone kicking you in the ass (luckily only one side), on the thigh, behind the knee, mid-shin and in the ankle for 12 hours of the day. I should say 12 hours of the night because that is when it’s the worst – hence the lack of sleep. My days from 0700hrs are not too bad pain-wise as long as I don’t do much.) Attached? Who really knows how deep the roots are. If they are too deep then surgery may very well end in me being paralyzed. Oh wait, it gets better. Someone noticed a 4-5mm black spot on my lung. Yay! The cancer may have spread through my blood and settled there. No one really knows yet but I’ll have to undergo a PET scan now. Given these complications and the uniqueness of my presentation (cancer not power point), I will have to wait until the surgeons figure out a game plan that will hopefully end in me only having one surgery to take care of both areas. Not sure what’s going to be done about the lung yet – or if anything needs to be done about it.

So that was my shitty Tuesday afternoon. I need to take a breath, absorb this and move on…because there is no other option.


11 thoughts on “So Much For The Much Anticipated Good News

  1. But, once the surgery is done you will be in much less pain. And I don’t mean because of paralysis 😁 because you will have a very talented surgeon. Who I will google, as soon as I know his name, because as you know, I google a lot. See you both Friday.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Just a bump in the road Ben. A bump that you will push through. I believe that with everything I have. Go KICK ASS. and then do it again and again.
    Love and newfie strength..



  3. Ben, you are a fighter and I’m sure I don’t need me to point out your partner in crime who is as solid as anyone I’ve ever known. I have faith that this will become a bad distant memory, and you will kick it to the curb. Isabelle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ben and Wendy, we are so shocked and sad to hear this news, but you are both so strong and have such an amazing family, you will absolutely kick this!! Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you on this journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ben, you are in my thoughts every day. You replied on the first blog and talked about falling off the merry go round. I keep thinking about that. There you were, hanging on and spinning round and round. Suddenly you find yourself sitting on your ass watching and wondering what the hell just happened?? Life just keeps going and now you have to fight to get back on the ride. What a fucking wake up call for all of us! I do believe a few things. #1 if anyone can do it – you can. #2 you have an amazing partner that will fight kick and scream to get you what you need. #3 you have love support and prayers of so many. Hang in there my friend. You fell off the merry go round and now you face a roller coaster. There will be good days and bad. There will be pain and fear. There will always be love and support. Thank-you both for blogging and letting us into your battle. Guess we are all part of your army!! Hugs from PG

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey Ben

    If anyone can overcome this it is you…you are and always been a strong man…everyone from troop 12 can attest to that. I know I had a few bruises that were courtesy of you in those epic battle royal in self defence.

    I still remember being in the ironing room in D block and listening to you in awe as you were recounting you days as a doorman in Saint Quentin and your various encounter with drunks. I vividly remember one in particular where you are trying to subdued one and he grabbed a brick and smack you in the head. you said it rang your bell but you kept focus, despite the blood oozing from your bald head and were able to get the job done and gently subdued him. I remember thinking wow…thats amazing and then in the next breath I quickly thank god that you were on my side and wearing the same uniform as me.

    You just been hit by another brick and like you did a few years ago… I know you will be focussed and get the job done and this time you are not alone in the fight, we are all with you.

    Saint-Onge Strong!!!


    Liked by 2 people

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