Stay Off of Google

Its after midnight as I write this.  I went out to the sky train quite late to pick up Zach who was returning home after an evening of staying connected and sober.  Thank God, because my great fear (well, one of them) is “how will Zach handle all of this.”

After a year of intense effort, my husband and son now have a relationship that looks like this:


and this

Zach and Ben

Which is a huge upswing from this:

Dad and son cartoon

On the ride home, Zach was talking about Ben and he said to me suddenly (with all his almost 19 year old wisdom), “Stay off of Google, Mom.”  My heart sank, and I asked Zach if he had been googling Ben’s condition.  He said “No.  Peter (one of the counsellors in New West) told me to stay off of Google, and I think you should too.”

Good advice son.

Then he let me know that there was evidence to suggest that in war times, men who were shot that were over the age of 40 were more likely to survive then younger men.  He said that the theory is that younger men don’t have enough life experience to know how worth it that it is to fight.  He said that men over 40 know that sometimes shitty things happen in life, but its worth living and fighting to live regardless.  So they do.  And they survive.

Well, my Ben is over 40 and he has a LOT to live for!  Like this:

Ben and Jai huggingIMG_9273

and this:

DSCN0912Rae and Ben(b)

and this:



So Ben, we both know that these appointments are not fun, and I’m sure the one today will be no exception.  But with each one we get a little closer  to getting something done about helping you.  Regardless of how difficult these days can be, remember that the battle is worth it because you are so loved, and we are all standing beside you to do battle with you.  You are not alone.  Never alone.

And we will stay off Google.

Forever loving you deeply and madly,

Your Bride

Wendy and Ben in Shuswap

13 thoughts on “Stay Off of Google

  1. We totally agree with you, Wendy. TEAM EFFORT!
    Also, your dad is looking forward to Ben’s return to playing pool so that he can continue teaching Ben some of the finer points of the game.
    (love the pictures)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Beautiful Wendy! And you have a smart boy there. Good luck today… Fingers crossed for good news. My Dad has had multiple surgeries from Dr. Padilla and he was always the same. Telling him, you are doomed, probably won’t walk again, blah, blah blah. Well he walks just fine. And Ben will too! Because he’s young and strong and takes down the bad guys! Not to mention his hugely supportive wife and family who are with him every step of the way. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • What the hell happened to optimism? That is horrible. I’m not asking for promises, just possibilities. Give us something to believe in.

      Oh my God Kim…I just re read my comment and it looks like I was talking to you! Oh dear…I’m so sorry. What I was trying to say was that the doctor who told your dad he wouldn’t walk was horrible, and that he should have been more optimistic.

      That read horribly. I feel like a complete….douche. Please get back to me and let me know that you got this follow up!!! (and that you don’t hate me). So sorry!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I may be far away but I have your back as well. Wendy told me you and her with thinking of trying golf in the not too distant future. Look forward to hitting the links with you….or maybe a driving range first. I have had enough experience ducking errant golf balls!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. That is GREAT advice from Zach! I’m so sorry this is happening to all of you, but you are such strong people I know this is just a bump in a very long happy road. I’ll be waiting to read about your appt with the surgeon. Love and hugs. 💪🏻❤️


  5. Staying off google is the best advice ever and I love what Zach said about older people being better able to fight, it rings very true.


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