It’s been awhile since I have posted. I threw my back out for the second time since Ben’s diagnosis, which has made it a bit challenging to take care of him. (Possibly the equivalent of the “Man flu”. Subconscious revenge for every time I ever got sick and Ben suddenly developed the “man flu” and needed me to take care of him. Hahaha. I know that the women out there know exactly what I’m talking about! Now we’re even, Ben. Xo)
This week has been a good one so far, even with the “scan-xiety” while waiting for results of the PET scan. I’m glad we were finally able to get that done, although personally I’m not that interested in the results. It won’t make a difference to the treatment plan, and I don’t want the results to mess with Ben’s head. It’s important that his subconscious mind believes unequivocally that his body can be healed. But Ben says he understands that, and wants the details on exactly where all those little rogue cells are hiding so that he can meditate and visualize them all shrivelling up and dying. Death to those crappy cells.
Anyway….the week is going smoothly and we are both appreciating all the positivity and good things that have been taking place in our lives. I am especially happy that Ben admitted to me he shouldn’t have eaten the bag of tostitos that I told him not to. (Of course I was right. Duh. When am I not?!). We are now organic, sugar free, pesticide free etc etc. Dont be offended when we say “no thanks” to the snacks … it is safer for Ben to commit to proper eating then it is for him to have to deal with me when he doesn’t. 😀. Truthfully, I am half joking. Ben has been experimenting with cooking different vegetables that have specific benefits, and eating and supplementing very well. We are determined to get his immune system into Military Mode.
Yesterday was simply amazing and uplifting when Ben received the gift from Max Jeffrey. Ben had no idea what he would be receiving when he went down to the U.S. to pick it up. (I did know, but I didn’t want to go with him due to the embarrassment I would be facing at the border with my husband bawling his eyes out. Haha. Kidding. Sort of. Not really.). Instead, I waited for him to return, with my video camera ready. Unfortunately, we are too cheap to pay for the site upgrade that would allow me to attach the video clip of Ben thanking Max on camera, so you will have to use your imagination.
Also, Ben has had great difficulty walking for the last week or more. He had been better, but then the pain came back with a vengeance and it was horrible to watch. BUT….Dr B came to the rescue with good meds and now Ben is looking a little like a dancing fool…
In addition to those happy moments, there has also been the fabulous news that this young man will be graduating on June 12th!!!
That piece of fantastic news led to a shopping trip with my mom today, to pick out well deserved graduation gifts for Zak. Unfortunately, neither of us found what we were looking for, but we do know exactly what we’re getting him so at least the hard part of deciding is done. I cannot wait to see Zak’s joy when he receives his graduation gifts – one of the first ‘normal’ things to happen to him in this last year. I know he will be thrilled.
As always, my family is a constant source of strength and support. We will forever be grateful that they make themselves available for reassurances at all times of the day and night. I am overcome with gratitude when I think about all they have done and continue to do for us. There is a lot of love there. They bring us peace, and that is worth more then anything else right now. Thank you Mom, Dad, Lisa and Barb. Thank you for always being here for both of us, and for always having treated Ben as your own son / brother. You could not have ever given me a better gift then that. I am very grateful. (Sometimes I think you may even love him a wee bit more then me, but I will let that go for now).
I am also so grateful for all the support our friends have shown us. The random texts to check in, the rides for the kids, the get together invites (we are on for Friday, Smith Family), the spontaneous support at yoga class when I break down…haha. I know I don’t say it enough, but thank you all. It means so much to know that others are thinking about the kids and getting them where they need to go. Those things make us feel very cared for.
And on that note, I am going to sign off and head out for a walk with My Man. Because we can.