Sadness … Go Away

Wendy Insley Saint-Onge August 2015, , ,

I am sitting in Starbucks, writing this on my phone while Ben sits at home.  Alone and in the dark, because our power is out.  Our phones aren’t working at all, and Starbucks provides wifi so I came here to find out what the internet says about the power coming back.

Instead of going on the Hydro website, I sat down, took one look around and promptly burst into tears.  So many people smiling and chatting.  Such normal lives.  This is so embarrassing, but I am just so sad.  I can’t seem to stop.

Half the town is in here – they probably all think I was just dumped.  I look like someone who has just been dumped.  And my hair looks awful (I just caught a glimpse of my reflection).  Everyone is probably thinking “if only she had put a little effort in with that hair…she may not have been dumped.”  Ha.

I don’t like telling people I’m sad.  Especially my family.  I know they are suffering their own horribly broken hearts right now, which makes me feel so much worse.   I do not want to add to their pain.  If I could individually block them from this one post, I would.

Ben, Mom, Dad, Barb, Lisa …..I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  I will regret posting this, I’m sure. I just can’t help it.  I’m. Just. So. Sad.  For the moment.

Ok.  That’s enough. I have cleaned up my face and even fixed my hair a little.  Crying time is over.  I will go home now and talk to Ben about how we can enjoy our day tomorrow.  Perhaps we can pull the hair out of the drains.  Nothing says love like working together to unclog the drains.

To my family – that was just a moment.  It’s over now.  I’m ok.  Nothing a hug from Ben and a big glass of wine won’t fix!  I will go get both right now. 🙂

Ben – don’t you dare complain about me being sad and posting about it.  I know you don’t like me to be sad.  It was just a moment.  I’m over it.  If you need me to prove it, I will come home and list a few things about you that still annoy me.  You are still not perfect.  Me, on the other hand….well….

😉

Hug your families.  Xo

Wendy

18 thoughts on “Sadness … Go Away”

  1. Don’t you dare beat yourself up about being sad. How could you not be sad?! You need those moments to keep you strong. I repeat….you need those moments to be strong.
    I wish I was there with you in Starbucks. In the dark, with the happy people…cause you and I would find the stupidest things to talk about, that would make us laugh so hard, that the happy people would think we are crazy. Which we kind of are. I love you….

    B

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  3. Oh Wendy….I am feeling your pain and sadness. I am also feeling the joy in knowing that you are allowing yourself the tears that accompany such a situation. Your tears will help you to persevere. They are your strength in a horrific time. The combination of tears, laughter and love is the healing formula necessary for survival…….all so very normal…..xo

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  4. I knew it, you are human after all, not just this strong willed mother/wife/cop with an attitude. 😉 And not that anyone likes to see you sad but it’s actually a nice picture… hopefully that doesn’t come across as creepy. Ben can probably still choke me out anyway, even when under “tcheemo” treatments.

    Written from my Hydro-Quebec-powered laptop

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      • PS. That is a Gorgeous Picture! Because it’s just some random crying chick off the internet. Lol. If I had put a photo of myself on there you would have seen ugly red eyes and a snotty nose. I couldn’t bring myself to do that anyone. Haha. It’s funny that both you and Diana thought it was a pic of me. If I looked that good crying I would do it constantly. lol!

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  5. You are such a Smartie. Tough shell, but gooey sweet inside. It’s OK to be sad and let that shell crack open a bit. Every good Smartie has a few scars where the shell has split open from time to time. Smartie cracks heal quickly and makes you tougher and stronger. Reading your words and seeing your picture this morning cracked my shell wide open. I cried and felt a smidgen of what you and your family must be living with every day. Love you lots…… Your friend the purple Smartie (cause purple ones are the best)

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  6. “You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent their making a nest in your hair.”

    -Chinese proverb

    Since you mentioned you already fixed your hair I think you are safe from the nest. Sadness is expected. Huuuuuuuuugggggggg.

    Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. – Hellen Keller.

    This will be You-Five. Kind of like a High-Five. Only cooler.

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  7. Lol. Thanks Diana. But that is just some woman who looks good crying! I didn’t want to scare anyone by putting my crazy haired, red eyed, snot nosed pic in there. I promise I wasn’t actually looking for anyone who looked like me…she was just the first crying woman I saw. Lol

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  8. Hugs and lots of love to you my dear sister in law. Never stop yourself from crying to release the tension and stress or you will crash at some point. You have every right to feel the sadness and injustice of the whole situation because in reality , it sucks big time.
    You need to feel, take a breath and then “shake it off” as Taylor Swift says in her song….love you. Michelle❤️

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  9. You are entitled to those kinda days….milk it, sob your heart out…its your therapy…i will join you anytime…just give me a call. Xxxxc

    Sent from my Samsung device

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  10. Don’t you ever apologize for feeling sad!! And if you ever try to block me from anything, you will rue the day!!! And just for the record, I NEVER thought the hot crying babe was you 😉 Love you ❤ ❤

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