I wrote the title of this blog post and then stared at my computer for 10 minutes without touching a key. Sometimes I Wake Up Sad. Its true. Sometimes I do.
Today it was because I sat up and found myself staring into the open eyes of my Beloved. When I asked why he was awake, he said it was because he had tried to adjust his sleeping position and found himself in pain which woke him. What does one say to that, when the person they love most hurts? It wasn’t that horrible, intense pain, but it is a constant reminder of the reality of the situation and yet another opportunity for cancer to break my heart.
I came downstairs to chat with my beautiful girls before I drove them to school, and Raegan did a quick double take and asked me if I was ok. I smiled and shook my head and said “Of course I’m fine. My eyes are watery today. No idea why. Must be allergies.” She looked skeptical. In moments like that I think of Beth saying to me, “When my Dad passed away we always looked to my Mom. If Mom was ok, then we were ok.” I try to be ok.
Tomorrow we leave for a 40 hour trip to LA to celebrate our TWENTY FIRST wedding anniversary ….
…. and to enjoy an up close and personal concert with none other then (then? than?) Doyle Bramhall II!
I wonder if he’ll let me touch his hair?! Maybe that’s too weird and a bit stalker-ish. If not, maybe Barb can work her magic and get him to dump Renee Zellweger for her. He could end up as Ben’s (and my) new brother in law. Barb … make sure you wear something hot to the show. Do not waste this opportunity you have been handed to provide Ben with a life time of jamming with Doyle, and me with a lifetime of being around that hair!
**Side note** Incase my life is ever made into a movie and Doyle Bramhall II or Renee Zellweger read this blog, I should make it clear that I’m not REALLY sending my sister in to try to break up their romance. That was just a joke. But I do want to touch his hair.
This would be a full
Griswold Insley Family Vacation if only Lisa hadn’t chosen to be a teacher, thereby preventing her from skipping town in the middle of a work week to head to LA. Having said that, since she is happily married to the Love of Her Life, she would be useless to me anyway. On another positive note, travelling with Mom and Dad may give us access to senior discounts.
In addition to our quick but awesome celebration this week, today we will have running boards put onto
our Ben’s truck. Wahoo! I will finally be able to climb up into the truck like a civilized person without having to grab on with both hands and draw on past childhood gymnastics abilities to swing up into it. This is a picture of us on our way to order the running boards yesterday:
So on that note, I will bid you all adieu and go attend to My Love who has just come downstairs and is suffering with nerve pain that is worse now that he is up and about. Lets hope that the nerve block is not wearing off before our trip. That would just be too f**king cruel for words.
Watching him in pain right now and helpless to do anything …. that is why I sometimes wake up sad.
***UPDATE** Just got off the phone with the Pain Clinic who have called in some new RX’s and messed with his meds a bit. Fingers crossed