Everyone knows that life isn’t easy. We all teach our kids that, because we want them to learn resilience and how to work through problems. The most successful university students (and adults throughout their lives) are not the smartest, nor are they the ones with the highest grades … they are the ones that have learned resilience. How to pick themselves up and brush themselves off and move on. Because nothing is the end of the world, right? Everything can be fixed.
Except when it can’t.
I recently posted an article by Tim Lawrence on my Facebook page entitled “Everything Doesn’t Happen For A Reason.” The truth is, as Tim Lawrence says, “Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”
I am having trouble carrying this one. I never could have imagined heart break such as this. How is Ben supposed to carry this? He suffers unspeakable physical pain. He is afraid. He bravely hides his fear from the kids and for the most part he hides it from me too. Except it leaks out every once in awhile and that is when I want to scream “How is he supposed to carry this?!”
I want to carry it for him. I try to carry it for him and I think I am able to carry some of it, but I just can’t take the burden from him. All I can say, all any of us can say to him, is that we want to carry that burden for you, Ben. We wish we could … even just a little. I hope that helps just the tiniest bit. Knowing that you are so loved, that there are so many who wish we could lift that burden from you and ease that pain. Knowing that we share in that pain. Knowing that you have made such a difference in so many people’s lives, that countless numbers of people would give anything to take a piece of this away from you.
You are loved beyond measure. You have made an impact. You have set an example for so many who admire your strength and courage. I love you so much that I physically feel the pain of your suffering, and I’m glad I do. Maybe that is just a little piece that you don’t have to feel.
I will never leave your side.
Your Bride xo