It’s after midnight. Today would have been Ben’s 47th birthday. This was what this day looked like exactly one year ago as Ben and Zak cooked up a marvellous Mexican meal and enjoyed each other’s company. We had spent most of the previous year away from Zak, and it was the best birthday gift Ben could have ever received to have Zak home and cooking with him again. Look how happy Ben is.
I remember telling Ben that he should refuse the chemo. That it would just make him sicker and for what? He looked horrified and said “If I don’t do the chemo I’ll be dead before my next birthday.” He did the chemo. And yet here we are.
The kids and I have decided that March 13th should be a day for celebration each year. A day to remember Ben and probably shed some tears but hopefully have a few laughs too. And maybe, just maybe, every March 13th afterwards will get just a little easier. A little happier.
Tonight we will have our usual birthday dinner of steak and caesar salad, just as Ben would have wanted. We will spend a few hours together with Mom and Dad and Barb and Makeda, which is exactly how we would normally celebrate. And then our nearest and dearest will come over to join us so we can raise our glasses to The Titan and have some cake. Not gluten free. (Sorry Ben, but let’s face it – no one likes gluten free.)