Twenty two years ago tonight, My Beloved asked me to be his partner for life.
One year ago tonight I wrote about The Proposal right here. When I wrote that post, I knew it was the last time that I would actually be in the company of My Beloved on the day of “The Proposal.”
Today I woke up and looked to my left, and was reminded by the empty space in my king size bed that I am just left with memories. It seems My Beloved is not coming back.
I came home after work today to an empty house and a lot of memories from when our love story started…
… and what we made together ….
Last night I went to a parent’s meeting at The Last Door Recovery house, just to get back in touch. The only time Ben ever missed a parent’s meeting was right around the time he had his shoulder surgery. Every Wednesday, week after week for a year he faithfully attended those meetings. A truly dedicated father. Much more than a father … a Dad.
As Ben mentioned in this post that he wrote last year, it was the strength he gained from those meetings and from the people in treatment that gave him the resolve to fight cancer (with a small ‘c’) as hard as he did.
Anyway, I went to the meeting last night and I was saddened to immediately see the familiar face of someone I know outside of the world of addiction. I had no idea that addiction had touched her life, and I immediately looked to my left to tell Ben that I know her.
He wasn’t there.
This was our wedding song. Chosen by Ben. Our theme was ‘friendship’ in 1994, and remained that way right through our lives together.
How I miss you Ben. I don’t go a minute without thinking of you. Thanks for all the good years.