It’s 1:19 am. The girls and I arrived back from holidays early this evening. I had grand plans that I would return refreshed and ready to live life.
Turns out that as of tonight I suddenly feel nothing except completely done. Finished. My grand vacation plan did nothing for healing. I feel worse then ever, actually, and in addition I believe I have a massive sinus infection as of about 30 minutes ago. My teeth are aching and I cannot breathe through my nose at all. I would like to have a really good cry but I can’t even seem to do that.
I also don’t feel like trying to be happy, I don’t feel like talking to anyone, I don’t feel like seeing anyone and I don’t feel like explaining my feelings. And, I don’t feel like writing about my vacation or why I feel like this. I couldn’t explain it if I tried and you couldn’t understand anyway.
Seven months is not a magic number for healing at all. Nothing I have done has worked. So I’m just done. I won’t be visiting anybody.