I wrote a blog post. And then I deleted it due to a temper tantrum.
It has been a year since we celebrated Ben’s life. I miss that day because it was the last time I got to talk about Ben for as long as I wanted and no one could say one damn thing about it. So instead of a writing a blog post I have opted to repeat what I said about Ben on January 22nd, 2016. The day when the only topic in the world of any importance, was Ben.
This was my eulogy to Ben. You will have to turn the volume up.
There’s an online grief group I follow. Today someone wrote this:
“It’s really hard to explain the level of grief to someone who has not lost a spouse . It’s is so complicated and has so many different layers . Not only did I Iose my husband, I lost my best friend. I lost my confidant. I lost my security. I lost the joy and interest of activities we used to share. I lost the father of my children. And I lost the future we would have shared .
The journey of grief has so many twists and turns . And everyone’s journey is different, so the road that I take is mine alone. All that I can do is keep going. I don’t know where I’m going , or how to get there, but someday I hope to get to the place where I can find some peace and acceptance.”
So there you go.