My blog post as published on the Soaring Spirits website today:
I have been a busy girl this last month. Vegas, Commencement ceremonies for Jaime, a Canada Day celebration that went on for two days, an anniversary party, a visit from Cameron (Ben’s brother in law), Raegan’s 16th birthday, a weekend in Lake Cowichan and … the pièce de résistance … a driver’s licence for my baby.
I will confess that while down time is nice, those are also the moments when I feel the solid punch in the gut of memories that I don’t care to think much about. That is when I remember … Ben is dead, and he’s missing out on all these moments. So I prefer to keep busy.
Vegas was a great weekend getaway with old friends and new. I had a lot of anxiety leading up to it because I find it a challenge to push myself to do things that I never would have done without Ben. In the end I had a really amazing time. I flew home with significantly less money than I went there with, but also with some new art work.
I returned home just in time to watch my “baby” cross the stage and accept her diploma. I had anticipated that the evening would be very difficult and filled with tears. Ben should have been here. He would have been so, so proud.
In the end it was so flippin’ hot in that arena, and the ceremony was so flippin’ long that I could only focus on my discomfort and therefore didn’t embarrass Jaime with loud, snotty sobbing from the stands. (You try sitting on a bench for four hours in the heat. I came out of there looking like I had just run through the sprinkler. Not pretty.) By the time Jaime actually walked across the stage I was silently cursing Ben for having a last name that had destined all of us to be near the end of every alphabetical list.
This is what the early part of the evening looked like, before everyone melted.
I have no idea how we got here so quickly …
Time waits for no one, right? One day you’re 22 and eating take out for Easter dinner on the floor with your new boyfriend, and the next minute you’re watching him fade away and die while your children look on.
But, I digress …
In addition to watching Jaime reach a major milestone in life, I also watched my actual baby turn Sweet Sixteen. My head is spinning just trying to keep up with life.
We planned a birthday dinner for Raegan and I cooked her requested meal. Afterwards I retrieved the specially made DQ ice cream cake from the freezer, made with extra fudge in the middle exactly as she had asked, lit the candles and started to walk outside with it where everyone could sing Happy Birthday. Unfortunately, the tray was quite slippery and the entire cake slid right off, hit the back of the couch and landed on the floor. Oops. We ate it anyway … damaged side and all. It was not lost on me that if these were normal times Ben would have laughed his head off while I freaked out. I have clearly learned from him, because I laughed this time and carried on.
I kind of wish we had The Great Cake Topple on video.
We wrapped up Raegan’s birthday with a weekend trip to the lake. The picture on the left is Marley waiting for Jaime as she went paddle boarding, and the one on the right is Marley on the board with Jaime after she took him out with her. He has a human life jacket on. He was not happy.
There was some skiing, knee boarding, bocce ball …
And because she is so darn adorable I cannot help but throw a quick pic of my niece in there. She looks like me, no? I feel like there is a strong resemblance. 🙂
Once we got home, Miss Raegan went and took the big test and we now have yet another legal driver in the Saint-Onge household …
I definitely do wish Ben were here for this. Not just because I miss him so, but because I literally cannot stand the thought of being the parent who has to sit white knuckled in the passenger seat with yet another brand new driver. I think I will just bring in a driving instructor. Lol. If I don’t there will be a good chance that Raegan and I may end up discovering which one of us can hit harder.
How many times did I have to listen to Ben announce to all of us that in his “previous career” he was a driving instructor? (Previous “career” being before he turned 23 years old.) I laugh every time I remember his frustration over the fact that I didn’t quite take that “career” of his very seriously.
Anyway, I made it through what was a challenging few weeks and I’m still here to write about it. Oh, and speaking of writing, there was actually one more significant event that took place this month. Today, in fact. (Or possibly it will be yesterday by the time I hit “publish” on this blog post). I just had my very first piece of writing published on an International blog. Yes sirree. I wrote a blog post for Soaring Spirits International, and if you click here you can read it.
I’ll be writing for them once per week, so if you want to follow along please do. I believe there is a “Follow” button on the website, but in any case my posts will be published every Monday so you can just check back each week if you choose.
Have a sunny week.