So Much Pain….

Poor Ben.  Not even six hours post chemo and he is writhing in pain.  Literally writhing in pain.  Worse then this:


Don’t ask me why this always happens.  No one seems to be able to give us an answer.  It just seems as though his pain is greatly exacerbated by the chemo.  The meds really don’t touch it.  It might even hurt this much:


Yuck.  Anyway, to save myself time I am going to copy most of my recent FB post into this blog, since it has an outline of the better part of our day.  Here it is:


Isn’t this what everyone does on a Monday afternoon? Mexican food followed by chemo.

As usual, Ben stays in good spirits (well, at least for the camera, but that’s something) despite the issues today.

For example, our first appt was two hours late by the time Dr Cocky McArrogant breezed into the room for 30 seconds and diagnosed Ben’s hearing problem without asking any questions. Much like Crown Counsel, Dr Imso Important clearly hadn’t read the file before walking in the room, because you know his time is much more important then ours.

After that we had issues with Ben’s consent forms for the clinical trial. The same forms that I handed in a couple of weeks ago and said “please please please don’t lose these. They are very important.” Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure the cancer agency “misplaced” them and totally forgot he was supposed to be entered in the POG trial at all. I kicked up some dust today and remedied that. Supposedly his biopsy will now be next week. It should have happened a week ago, so I guess we’ll see.

Anyway, he’s sitting in the chemo chair as I write this. The drama continues, as the chemo nurse had tons of problems getting the IV in. (Cal Traversy, please tell Whitney she needs to transfer to VGH and take care of Ben). Apparently Ben has “crooked veins.” Seriously. Crooked veins. Who has crooked veins??!! What kind of genetics did I marry into?!

He’d better not pass on any of these weird defects to our kids. Crooked veins, funky chromosomes… Ben Saint-Onge I may sue you for failing to provide full disclosure before our wedding day! You definitely led me to believe you were pretty close to perfect at the time. 😏. Now it is too late to toss you aside. I am apparently stuck with you. The statute of limitations for suing one’s spouse for failure to provide full disclosure runs out at the 20 year mark.  Too bad for me.


There was discussion about putting in a portacath for the next while so they can stop poking him. Also, the drugs cause a lot of pain in his hands so a portacath may help with that since the drug won’t go into his hand. If you want to see how much his hands hurt from that damn drug, try patting him gently on the hand under the guise of comforting him. You will learn some new swears. Lol.


There will be no personal visits for awhile – Ben’s white blood cell count was down to 1.3 today. It is very likely to now go right down to zero which makes him extremely susceptible to infection. We have BIG plans coming up and we don’t want them messed up! So texts, phone calls etc are all welcome – just no personal visits.  Ben does read his texts and emails….sometimes it takes him a while to respond.  Please don’t take that as a sign he doesn’t want to hear from you….he’s likely just sick and / or trying to rid himself of pain.  In fact, random “feel better” texts, stupid jokes and / or funny pictures that make him laugh will be extremely helpful in keeping his spirits up this week.  His body is doing a lot of work right now:


So thats it for now.  Ben will likely be preoccupied the next few days with feeling really crappy, and I will likely be preoccupied with cleaning up vomit.  Perhaps after that, Ben will feel well enough to disclose Surprise #2.  In the meantime, lets just say that we intend to


Thats right.

PS. We have decided to always pronounce ‘chemo’ with a “ch” sound. Like CHew or CHoice. Because it makes us laugh. So when you see me write “chemo”, make sure you read it as you know we are saying it. It takes away the seriousness of it. And we are tired of chchchemo being serious. (You pronounced the “ch” that time, didn’t you? Yeah you did. 😉)


The plan, it is a hatching…

I am writing this at just about midnight, having just returned home.  Ben was admitted to Surrey Memorial Hospital today due to an obvious deterioration in his condition.  He is finding it difficult to walk (as he mentioned in his previous post) and tends to look like he’s just polished off a 40 of rum when he’s walking.  (Haha.  He’s going to love it when he reads this one!).  So we made it into one of the rooms in Emerg, and Ben just crashed from the pain and the exhaustion:


But then lovely Nurse Tracy arrived, and she told us all about how she could take the pain away.  Dear, dear Nurse Tracy.  Getting prepped for those pain meds made Ben pretty happy:


Well, NOW he’s feeling pretty good, so why not get up and make a pit stop so that the whole of Emerg gets a vision of this little number in a short dress….

IMG_0660 (1)

There’s my man!  Amazing what some good drugs and cute nurse do for getting a man smiling again.  lol.

So once he got settled in, various people came to check him out.  Three different doctors and a few nurses, and one person who took a lot of blood.  One of the doctors decided to get to know Ben rather intimately and cracked jokes the entire time while doing so.  If I hadn’t been laughing so hard I would have taken a super cute blackmail photo for the blog.

In any case, when all was said and done, we now seem to have a tentative plan.  I believe (but don’t hold me to it) that an attempt will be made tomorrow to get a CT guided biopsy of the metastasized  site.  That will be followed by radiation to zap that bastard tumour out of Ben’s butt.  (haha…he’s also going to love to read that.  He says that other people get ‘cool’ cancers and he gets stuck with ‘ass cancer’).

Dr M (spinal surgeon who is not able to operate) spoke with Dr F in Vancouver (who is the one guy that may be able to operate, if that turns out to be the best option.  I doubt if surgery at that site is the best option, but we’ll see).  In any case, Dr F thinks that the tumour may require a ‘special’ radiation treatment that can only be done in Vancouver.  How fitting that my Unique Ben needs a Unique radiation treatment that requires ongoing commuting to Vancouver.  He just can’t do anything the simple way, my guy.  No normal radiation for him.

Dr F is trying to expedite the biopsy which may be done at the BC Cancer Agency in Vancouver.  We will find out tomorrow.  It is possible that they will radiate the crap out of that tumour, and then leave it to see what happens (and remove the kidney, of course).  I believe that chemo is a requirement after the kidney has been removed, due to the expectation that some rogue cells may escape during the surgery.  That kind of sucks, but so be it.

So that is pretty much the plan in a nutshell, which I realize is vague at best but a plan nonetheless.  So then we focussed on a little fun like this:


Yes, that is Beth who flew in from Alberta today to spread the love.  (Look at Ben just revelling in that hug!)

And then there was this:


As you can see, Ben has perked up a bit after the hug from Beth so he was warmed up for his picture with Zach.  The only one I missed was a picture of Ben and Ryan, who is also over for work and managed to stop in to say hello to Ben.  I was kicking myself afterwards for not getting a picture.  Ryan…if you’re reading this, head back to the hospital so I can get one!

Anyway, thats all we have for now.  He may be moved into Vancouver tomorrow.  We aren’t sure at this point but will let everyone know as soon as we know.

The plan, it is a hatching